Cersei Lannister is one of the most ruthless monarchs in the Game of Thrones universe. She lusts after blood even more than she does her brother Jaime. Whether politically motivated or in the name of good old-fashioned revenge, Cersei thrives on destruction. Though she’s shown glimmers of a soft side, Cersei is a cold, brutal villain.
Then why do fans love her so much? Because she speaks her mind. She’s always armed with a poisonous barb for anyone, be they friend, foe, or lover. From the Queen of Mean’s mouth to our ears, here are a few of Queen Cersei’s most unforgettable quotes.
“Half The Targaryens Went Mad, Didn’t They? What’s The Saying? ‘Every Time A Targaryen Is Born The Gods Flip A Coin.’”
While Cersei always had aspirations on the crown of Westeros, she initially chose to rule through her children before they began dropping like flies. She began to assume everyone was a threat to her rule, though when she first heard the rumors of Daenerys Targaryen, her paranoia was based on historical evidence.
The Targaryen’s bred within the family, which, in the world of Game of Thrones, led to the curse of insanity that Cersei feared her own children would inherit due to their sibling parentage. It was a vulnerable moment for the future queen, but she still managed to fit in a jab at the Targaryens to cover her own worry.
“These Kingsguard Knights Are As Useless As Nipples On A Breastplate.”
The Kingsguard was a supposedly elite group of knights who earned the honor of protecting the King of Westeros over years of dutiful service, though they historically failed in their duties a number of times over the course of the series.
Fearing for the life of her son Tommen, who inherited the throne after the poisoning death of Joffrey, Cersei commented perfectly on the Kingsguard’s capability to protect her son. Tommen eventually took his own life, though it was actually due to his mother’s actions, and not the failure of the Kingsguard.
“People Will Whisper. They’ll Make Their Jokes. Let Them. They’re So Small, I Can’t Even See Them."
Cersei and Jamie Lannister’s dark incestual secret was revealed in the first episode of Game of Thrones when Bran accidentally caught them in the act, though he survived Jaime pushing him off a wall and decided not to expose their secret.
However, when Cersei was expected to marry Loras Tyrell, she revealed her relationship with Jaime to their father before telling Jaime what she’d done. When he reacted with obvious surprise, she brushed off anyone who might make jokes about their relationship, citing her elevated position in Westeros.
“If I Wanted To Kill You, Do You Think I’d Let A Wooden Door Stop Me?”
Cersei could certainly be cruel with her particularly vicious tongue, but she could also be incredibly intimidating, as her brother Tyrion discovered in the third season when he questioned the guards who were accompanying her during her visit.
She made it very clear with one simple statement that even if she was there to kill him, there wasn’t much he could do about it, with or without her guards. Obviously, Tyrion let her in, because she wasn’t lying in the slightest.
“Power Is Power.”
Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish had his own desire to rule, though he attempted to subtly work his way into power through less direct means than Cersei, which she happily called out during a discussion between the two players.
While Littlefinger believed that “knowledge is power,” Cersei is quick to point out that what she holds is real power, as she orders her guards to cut Littlefinger’s throat before casually deciding that she changed her mind.
“Nobody Cares What Your Father Once Told You.”
Cersei Lannister doesn’t like being told what to do. Nor does she like the Tyrells. When her father orders her to marry Loras Tyrell, Cersei is not pleased. It’s hard to blame her. She’s already been in one loveless marriage to Robert Baratheon and has no desire to go through that misery again. Cersei is a fierce, intelligent woman, and being sold like a “broodmare”, as she calls it, is beyond insulting.
None of this, however, is actually Loras’ fault. He prefers the company of men and is just as unhappy about the proposed union as Cersei. In an attempt to bond over their predicament, Loras reaches out, beginning a conversation with “My father once told me—”, though before he can finish his anecdote, Cersei hits him with this zinger and walks away.
“Every Breath You Draw In My Presence Annoys Me.”
Grand Maester Pycelle has the misfortune of being in Cersei’s sight-lines when she’s having a particularly bad day. It’s her son Joffrey’s wedding day, meaning Cersei will soon have to relinquish the throne, hence her crankiness.
Pycelle is a sycophant and a perv, so Cersei’s just saying what the fans are all thinking. She also proves that she doesn’t just talk the talk; she can walk the walk. After this royal diss, Cersei orders Pycelle to give the wedding leftovers to the dogs, an order that directly contradicts her soon-to-be daughter-in-law, who declared the leftovers would be given to the poor.
“Tears Aren’t A Woman’s Only Weapon. The Best One’s Between Your Legs.”
Whilst holed up during the Battle of the Blackwater, Cersei gets into the wine and forces Sansa Stark to be her drinking buddy. In Cersei’s twisted mind, this bon mot is sound advice for innocent, sheltered Sansa. However, if fans know one thing about Cersei, it’s that she only truly cares about Jaime and her children.
Sansa is a mere chew toy who serves to amuse Cersei during her drunken cabin fever. She demonstrates as much when she goes on to describe the atrocities that befall women who are on the losing side of a war.
“I Should Wear The Armor And You The Gown.”
Cersei and Robert had a terrible marriage. This Cersei-burn is a prime example of the vicious insults they hurl at each other like wildfire. In an argument, Cersei demands justice for her beloved Jaime after accusing Ned Stark of attacking him in the streets.
However, Ned is Robert’s bestie, so he wants to hear Ned’s side of the story. This is not good enough for Cersei, and the result is this attack on Robert’s masculinity. Cersei may have a barbed tongue, but when Robert retaliates by slapping her, fans can all agree he’s not a real man.
“Love Is Poison. A Sweet Poison, Yes, But It Will Kill You All The Same.”
Die-hard fans of the show may not remember this gem and for good reason. It’s in the second novel, A Clash of Kings, in which Cersei imparts more wisdom on poor Sansa. Cersei cites her deceased husband Robert Baratheon as a prime example, that every bad decision he ever made was in the pursuit of love, and it ultimately led to his death.
While everyone agrees that Robert did some stupid things, this is a bald-faced lie, as Cersei herself orchestrated his death. Still, tiny details aside, Cersei isn’t just saying this to torture Sansa; this is legitimately her outlook on love, and that’s what makes the quote so vicious.
“Everyone Who Isn’t Us Is An Enemy.”
If you ever wondered where Joffrey got his heartlessness, look no further than his dear mother. While tending to Joffrey’s direwolf wound, Cersei offers some advice to the future king. Shockingly, some of it is actually good, like knowing when to pick your battles.
In typical Cersei fashion, however, she essentially gives Joffrey the go-ahead to behave in whatever brutal way tickles his fancy, as long as he’s smart about it. She tells him that as king he can decree whatever he likes, truth or lie, and of course, this gem. To Cersei, loyalty begins and ends at home. At least she practices what she preaches.
“I Choose Violence.”
While Cersei makes some major blunders, she’s not one to be fooled twice. When the Faith Militant shows up at the Red Keep, they order her to meet with the High Sparrow. The last time this happened, Cersei was arrested.
This time, she flat-out refuses. The Militant warns her that if she doesn’t comply, there will be violence. Cersei gives her answer, and the result is an instant bloodbath in which the Mountain rips the head off one of the Faith Militant. Cersei doesn’t bat an eyelash.
“If You Ever Call Me ‘Sister’ Again, I’ll Have You Strangled In Your Sleep.”
Cersei really hates the Tyrells, and Margaery is square at the top of the list. Her crime is stealing Joffrey away from Cersei — and also being a syrupy, nauseating phony. While her charms may fool both King’s Landing nobility and common-folk alike, Cersei is certainly immune.
Cersei is wont to weave insult with anecdote and does so in educating Margaery on “The Rains of Castamere”, an annihilated noble family guilty of being too ambitious with their social-climbing, much like the Tyrells. Cersei then ties up the story with this neat little bow of a threat.
“Look At Me! Look At My Face! It’s The Last Thing You’ll See Before You Die.”
Sometimes Cersei’s plans don’t work out. When she gets arrested for her indiscretions, Cersei hurls this seemingly empty threat at Septa Unella. Things get worse before they get better. Ultimately, Cersei confesses her “crimes” and endures the brutal Walk of Atonement as punishment.
She bides her time, plays the good girl, then literally blows up most of her enemies. Not Septa Unella, though. Cersei gets her revenge by locking up the septa and pouring wine all over her while “confessing.” We’re not too sure if the septa’s actually dead, though Cersei had sicced the Mountain on her.
“When You Play The Game Of Thrones, You Win Or You Die.”
Cersei delivers this titular quote to Ned Stark. Not long after, he’s beheaded. Blame Cersei, blame the Lannisters, but Ned’s demise is the result of his own honor. He learns the truth, that Jaime is the father of Cersei’s children, and thus has no claim to the throne.
The rest, as they say, is history. Ned doesn’t understand the game of thrones but the ruthless Cersei does. That’s why Ned ends up headless after the first season and Cersei ends up fighting for the crown of Westeros to become queen.
