If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, Full House probably makes you nostalgic for “a heart, a hand to hold onto,” and whether you subscribe to fan theories like it all being in a grieving Danny Tanner’s head or not, you can’d deny the smoking hotness that was Jesse Katsopolis, better known as Uncle Jesse. (Fun fact: his last name was Cochran in the first season.)
Jesse’s look, hair obsession and way around a song definitely made him a heartthrob, but many of the one-liners that he delivered on the show were just as responsible for stealing hearts. Some of the lines that Jesse said were even only attractive because they came out of his mouth. Had his co-parent roommates spoken them, they certainly wouldn’t have been as effective.
10. “Talk To Me”
Even with constant access to a phone, many of us don’t even answer our calls these days, and if any of us did we certainly wouldn’t use a cringe-worthy phrase like, “Talk to me,” to answer our calls. Even so, when Jesse said this, it was clear he was doing so as one of the most eligible bachelors in San Francisco as well as one of the hottest characters on television.
“Talk to me” wouldn’t work nearly as well for most other characters then or especially now, but Jesse sure could pull it off while making it sound like a particularly clever line.
9. “Thank You Very Much”
Like his beloved Elvis, Uncle Jesse was found of saying, “Thank you very much.” Today we tend to roll our eyes when someone utters this already overused phrase, but when Jesse said it, it made hearts race much like Elvis Presley’s trademark phrase did during his own time back before the alien sightings of The King.
For many fans, Jesse may as well have been 1990s Elvis, and whenever he uttered, “Thank you very much,” we pretty much just wanted to swoon and croon back, “No, thank you.” Who are we kidding, we’d still say it. John Stamos has aged like a beast.
8. “What Do You Say, Little Mama?”
Raise your hand if you wanted to be the little mama in question anytime Jesse gave a smolder and said, “What do you say, little mama?” Even when he said it to a younger member of the household to be cute we couldn’t help but wish to hear those same words anytime the guy in our life wanted takeout–or, years later, to know what to binge on Netflix.
Take note, modern masters of the smolder: try these lines in your life with the person whose heart you hope to melt. Make sure you deliver them in an Elvis accent and if there’s a giggle rather than a sigh, well, at least you made them laugh.
7. “If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh, I’d Talk Forever.”
Okay, this isn’t a quote so much as a song lyric, but when Jesse delivered it to Rebecca at their wedding, “heartthrob” immediately came to mind. He sang the song with his band, The Rippers, but you could tell he only had eyes for his wife as he sang the words.
“If every word I said could make you laugh, I’d talk forever.” No, they’re not the best lyrics of all time, but the feeling between the two was palpable, and it certainly worked when delivered by John Stamos and his smoldering gaze, which was famous long before The Rock’s trademark look.
6. “I Love You This Much”
Why would we include a quote that Jesse said to his niece rather than his wife? Because one of the hottest things a person can do is be kind to a child, and when Jesse tells Michelle, “I love you this much,” stretching out his arms to demonstrate, he not only expresses his affection for the child but warms our hearts in the process.
One of the reasons why Full House was such a successful show in the first place was how endearing it was to witness three grown men raise a house full of girls. While it wasn’t ever perfect, it certainly helped pave the way for other more unconventional families in the media.
5. “Help. My Lips, Help.”
In the 1993 episode “Support Your Local Parents,” Becky and Jesse are trying to get their twins to socialize with other kids. Becky remarks that, “You know, honey, you’re kind of sexy when you’re vulnerable.” Jesse smugly retorts, “Help. My lips, help,” in order to get his wife to smooch him.
It’s a classic Jesse move: he utilizes both the situation and his charm to get what he wants. In this case, it’s a kiss from his wife. He has no shame in proving how clever she is, not only because he already knows he nabbed a smart partner, but also because it works out for him in the end.
4. “Watch The Hair”
We have to admit that if anyone said this to us in person, we’d have to roll our eyes. We all have hair, none of us want other people to touch it and mess it up, and that should be a given.
It’s just one of those things that managed to sound cute when it came out of Jesse’s mouth. Maybe it’s because it made him appear to be more dashing and in tune with his appearance, which, while it could be argued to be a vain characteristic, also points toward reversing a sexual stereotype that it’s only women who care about such things. We also simply tolerated goofier dialogue back in the 90s–especially in terms of catchphrases.
3. “I Bought One Of Every Chip They Had”
What’s more swoon-worthy than a guy who caters to all of your cravings, especially during pregnancy? Back when pagers were a thing and Jesse’s wife Rebecca was pregnant, he had an inkling she’d be ravenous, but he didn’t want to risk just bringing home one salty snack.
“I had a feeling you might change your mind again, especially after the second time you paged me at the market. So I bought one of every chip they had. It’s the pregnancy variety pack,” he told her. This is pretty much the equivalent of a bouquet, diamonds and chocolates for many people, especially pregnant people.
2. “Because I’m Worth It”
Long before Fifth Harmony, Danielle Bradbury and several other singers crooned about being “worth it,” Uncle Jesse made it known to all that he was indeed worth it because he likes to dye his hair to ensure that he always looks amazing.
When Becky inquires why Jesse happens to be dying his hair on the episode “Captain Video: Part 1,” Jesse simply replies, “Because I’m worth it.” Sure, he’s making a music video, but we all know how fabulous Jesse knows he is, hair included. We love how both members of the couple enjoy looking their best and so do they.
1. “Have Mercy”
Uncle Jesse’s trademark phrase might have been meant to associate him with The King he admired so fervently, but it made our hearts flutter hearing him say it. The Elvis homage sounds fairly innocent on its own, but when Jesse utters, “Have mercy,” before a kiss or upon seeing his wife in something lovely, it ends up being the sexiest line on the show. In fact, we’re pretty sure it worked much better for him than it did for Elvis.
If anyone were to quote a single quote from the show other than Michelle’s trademark, “You got it, dude!” it would definitely be this classic line.
