In Dillon, Texas, football is a religion. Whether they like it or not, the characters of Friday Night Lights are put into distinct roles—all in relation to football—that they are expected to fill with expertise: player, coach, coach’s wife, cheerleader. These labels are clean-cut and simple, but at times they can feel like a cage, and that’s when things get interesting…
On the surface, there couldn’t be a place more dissimilar to Dillon than Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But the Hogwarts students of Harry Potter are also formally categorized and sorted into houses—Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. So what if everyone’s favorite FNL characters piled in the Panthers/Lions coach buses and visited Hogwarts? We’d love to see the players on the Quidditch pitch, but first they need to get sorted into their houses.
Coach Eric Taylor - Gryffindor
Gryffindors are natural-born leaders, so what better house for TV’s favorite coach? Eric Taylor commands respect and inspires greatness in his players. He lacks a typical Gryffindor ego, and that helps him keep his eyes on the prize with razor-sharp focus. When his team is winning, Coach Taylor is the toast of the town, yet he never lets it go to his head. He’ll always do what’s best for the team, and is willing to make unpopular decisions. Dillon, Texas may be full of sheeple, but Coach Taylor doesn’t give a flying pigskin what people think.
Tami Taylor - Hufflepuff
Whoever mistakes Hufflepuffs for doormats hasn’t met Tami Taylor. She’s as formidable as she is compassionate, with a heart the size of her home state. She thrives on helping others, offering an open ear, and a shoulder to cry on.
Her advice is sage and sympathetic, but watch yourself. If you’re acting like an idiot, Tami will call you on it. It’s too bad she wasn’t in Harry Potter to save the day. All she’d have to do is sit Voldemort down, fix him her stern stare and say, “Son, you need to think about your choices.”
Tim Riggins - Gryffindor
This running back never met an impulse he didn’t want to tackle. Tim has talent to burn, despite showing up to many a practice hungover. A rule-breaker who had a crappy childhood? Sounds like a certain Boy Who Lived.
Tim may be tough and strong, but he sure has a weakness for the ladies. His chemistry with Lyla, in particular, is off the charts. Many non-Gryffindors would have thought twice about sleeping with their best friend’s girlfriend, but that’s not Tim’s style. Gryffindor, Forever.
Matt Saracen - Hufflepuff
As the fresh-faced boy next door who always wants to do the right thing, Matt is the poster child for Hufflepuff. He hustles round the clock to please those important in his life, namely his teammates and his grandmother, of whom he’s the sole caregiver. While many of the Panthers strut around so arrogantly the team should be called the Dillon Roosters, Matt’s biggest stumbling block is his low self-esteem. In the romance department, Hufflepuff Matt has been known to be a pushover. Many fans cringe at Julie’s wishy-washiness in their relationship. But Hufflepuffs make the best partners and to win back the love of his life, all Matt had to do was be himself.
Landry Clarke - Ravenclaw
While the Panthers wear helmets and shoulder pads, Landry dons a suit of armor made of self-deprecation and sarcasm. Unlike his fellow Dillonites, Landry hasn’t drunk the football Kool-Aid.
Sometimes his remarks about the team come off snarkier than he intends, but Ravenclaws aren’t always known for reading the room. When he’s able to stop cracking jokes at his or others’ expense, Landry is quite sweet and devoted. He was a wonderful boyfriend to Tara, and even used his Ravenclaw smarts to cover up a murder.
Julie Taylor - Gryffindor
Like Landry, Julie Taylor does not much care for football. For the coach’s daughter, this itself is an act of rebellion. At times, Julie can be like a sitcom character, mentioning how much she hates football every time she walks into a room. When a Gryffindor shows their negative traits, they can be some of the most cloying people on the planet. In the romance department, Julie is every bit as impulsive as Tim. She randomly leaves Matt for a Swedish lifeguard and has an affair with her college T.A. Somehow, Tim is loved despite his tryst with Lyla, but Julie is slut-shamed. Such is the plight of the Gryffindor woman who goes after what she wants.
Lyla Garrity - Slytherin
If more Slytherins were like Lyla, the world would be a better place. She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, but is ambitious and determined. She has big dreams but makes the most of her life in Dillon, enjoying her position as head cheerleader. Sometimes Lyla has been known to buckle under the pressure of being the ideal cheerleader and girlfriend. That’s what draws her to Tim. He gives her the opportunity to let her perfect ponytail loose and open her heart. She really loved Tim, but ultimately couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go away to a good school.
Tyra Colette - Gryffindor
When it comes to Gryffindors, for better or worse, what you see is what you get. If Tyra Colette doesn’t like you, oh does she let you know. She also has a burning disdain for Dillon’s hero worship culture toward its football players.
But as headstrong as Tara may be, she’s no match for Tami. Tami helps Tara re-channel her passion into positive outlets, like school and volleyball. Instead of following in the family footsteps and becoming a stripper, Tyra goes to college.
Jason Street - Slytherin
After his injury, Jason was miserable for a while as Slytherins are wont to do when their good fortune is ripped away but quickly learns to carve out new opportunities.
He gets himself involved in quadriplegic sports, almost turning professional. Later, he finds himself a job in New York at a sports agency. Jason may never walk again, but he flies high on Slytherin ambition.
Brian “Smash” Williams - Gryffindor
Like Harry Potter himself, Smash certainly possesses Slytherin-like tendencies, as evidenced by him using steroids to help his performance on the field. But Slytherins do anything to get ahead, and that’s not Smash’s way. He has the opportunity to transfer to another team, but turns it down out of loyalty to his fellow Panthers. However, sometimes Gryffindor Smash thinks that real-world consequences don’t apply to him. This leads to some bumps in the road, but Smash pulls himself back up. He listens to Coach Taylor, stays “away from dumb”, and gets accepted into college in one of the most touching moments of the entire series.
Luke Cafferty - Hufflepuff
Hufflepuff Luke is a blander, Melba Toast version of Matt Saracen. Instead of working tirelessly caring for a family member, Luke works tirelessly on his family’s farm. As boring as he may be, Luke sure has a rock-solid Hufflepuff work ethic. He’s also incredibly loyal.
Ever since he laid eyes on Becky, Luke has had feelings for her. They consummate their relationship, leading to Becky’s pregnancy and abortion. Though Luke’s family vocally disapproves of Becky’s choice, Luke stands by her, respecting her decision.
Jess Merriweather - Ravenclaw
While Slytherins use their cunning to achieve their goals, Ravenclaws use their smarts. Jess hasn’t had an easy life, having to help raise her three brothers after her mom’s death. Yet she’s still able to achieve some of the highest grades in her class. Jess also loves football and longs to be a coach. Her desire to be Coach Taylor’s assistant initially falls on deaf ears, but Jess proves her Ravenclaw prowess, becoming an invaluable asset to the team.
Becky Sproles - Hufflepuff
Hufflepuffs are defined as being “unafraid of toil”. That means Becky is in the right house because she made it her mission to date Tim Riggins, always following him around like a lost puppy. Besides being a budding stalker, Becky really does put a lot of Hufflepuff effort into beauty pageants. That pursuit runs its course, as does her Tim Riggins obsession. But Becky shows her loyalty to Luke, seeing him off after he joins the Army.
Vince Howard - Gryffindor
Vince’s football skills may be top-notch, but his decision-making leaves a lot to be desired. In that regard, Vince has a lot of common with Harry Potter. The only difference is that Vince tends to get caught for his rule-breaking.
Vince’s dad resurfaces, and fills Vince’s head with all kinds of garbage about being better than the team. It doesn’t take much to convince a Gryffindor on the subject of his own superiority. However, just like Harry had Dumbledore, Vince has Coach Taylor. The coach helps Vince find himself again, and that self is a mighty fine Gryffindor.
